My Pedicure Relationship

I love getting pedicures, who doesn't, but I also hate them. Here's why.

Knowing that a pedicure is on the agenda for the day gives me something to look forward to. Some me time. The fact that it only lasts 30-45 minutes is a major downfall!

Placing an already indecisive mother of two who can barely form an opinion of her own let alone a sentence in front of an endless wall of nail color choices is torture. Every single color on earth all with their very own cute, witty name is not fun. If I pick up a color but the name is weird it doesn't make the cut. If the name is fetch, oh yeah I said it, than it has instant appeal even though it's the same color as my six month olds poop. So you see my predicament. Why is their not a color that says momma-tini or this color is just for you? Not a single color is relatable to a stay at home mom. They are all about cabanas and far off places that I have no idea about because I live in a suburb and grow a garden. We need some boring names that will relate to the everyday person!

 Coral it is. Actually it's called something lobstery something.

I am then led to my chair and YOWZA that shit is hot!!! "How's the water ma'am?" Well now that my first two layers of skin have melted off your job just got a lot easier. "It's a little warm." And now it's cold. Great.

I have 30-45 minutes alone without my children and I need to relax but also need some adult conversation.

Me: "Have y'all been busy?" 

Lady: "No, have you come in before?"

Me: "Yes. Once. I need to come in more often."

Lady: "Yes you do."

BWORD!

Sorry I don't have all the time in the world to get pedicures like the other people in here. Which were dudes, let me tell you. I'm not against men getting pedi's, my husband needs one actually but if I have to watch the nail tech (is that politically correct?) rub someone's leg hair in circles I'm going to need a stiffer drink! Speaking of drinks.

The NUMBER 1 reason I get Pedicures is....they serve BOOZE! Can you believe it? I can't. 

Ahhhhh....this feels amazing. There is no way she is almost done. No no no do not stop! DAMMIT!!! She's wrapping my legs up then it's the painting and then it's over. 

It was amazing while it lasted which isn't how we feel about everything. 

See it's a LOVE/HATE relationship.

XOXOXO, 

Court

The Traveling Twister

I think a tornado has hit my house! Not a real one of course and I need to be careful when using this phrase since a tornado did just sweep through my beloved state. This is a whole other kind of tornado.

 Does it not feel like a chaotic disaster that can not be controlled when you are packing for a vacation that includes children?

I mean it's two weeks away and I'm already stressed out because I know exactly what we need to pack but have no idea all at the same time. 

We're spending a week at the lake with my husbands parents, my parents, my brother and my husbands brother that includes his wife and two kids.

 You're wondering to yourself at this very moment how I can even call that a vacation aren't you?

 We are staying in a house because let's face it roughing it is not an option with children. My daughter has recently grown a fear, no, hatred actually of anything that flies or crawls. She wants to slap them and smash them which she demonstrates on a daily basis just how she is plotting their death. Then she sees a frog and decides it needs a hug because well I mean haven't you seen The Princess and the Frog?! Whatever you want honey just don't kiss it because he will not turn into a prince!

Anyways, back to the trip. There will be a house with running water and all so that makes it not as difficult as I may make it out to be in my head. I mean over an hour drive to the local WWAALLL-MAARRTT said in my most redneck voice. How is that even legal? We will probably make one trip to a more local grocery store that will include only the basics. I'm sure they won't carry organic raw honey so I best bring my own. But they will have milk which I anticipate we will run out of on the first day. Especially if anyone brings any kind of syrup you would pour into the milk and stir. You want to see a toddler in a frenzy? When she sees something she's had before but we don't carry in our house normally will bring one on in a hurry. I mean it's who let the dogs out kind of excitement!!

So let's start with the essentials. NUMBER ONE MOST IMPORTANT thing to know about this little vacay is that dry counties do exsist. It's not just something you read about they are real and quite frankly a waste of time. Planning on how much booze you will need, yes NEED, for a week long vacation with not just your family but your in-laws is the most difficult thing I've ever done. Yes it beat out childbirth for me because well that was easy as pie. It's hard to even anticipate such a need that will include day long hangovers. Ok I don't drink that much but you get my drift.

Next, it's food which I don't put too much thought into really.  Mainly each meal will need to include something moderately healthy. While my kids would love to live of pizza rolls and Pringles, I mean who wouldn't, I prefer them to have a tad more diversity. Me on the other hand I'm just living off the booze. I mean I will be in a bathing suit so I will keep eating to a minimum. Once again don't get frightened away by my drinking habits all you non drinkers. It's really I mean really not that bad. (Wink, Wink)

Then there's all the other crap that people need to survive. Or at least what we think we need. Here's a run down from what I think is most important to least. 

Alcohol-duh!

Food

iPad

iPad charger

Phone

Phone charger

Movies and movies and some more movies.

Ellie's YEE-HAWS because if I have to hear that word non stop because mommy forgot the daddy YEE-HAW the world will be over as we know it, at least Ellie's will.

Clothes-yes all of those previous things are more important than clothes. I mean have you ever seen Naked and Afraid they make clothes out of leaves so we will be fine and Ellie hates clothes anyways.

Pack N Play

Pillows

Blankets because I do not trust anyone else's.

High chair for my youngest

Excersaucer- I hate this word!!!

And the list keeps going. Everything from an Umbrella to shield my baby to a kiddy pool because my daughter is up between 5-6 and everyone else sleeps in until 9. We have to plan accordingly to her need for constant entertainment. She gets it from me and I hate it!

Let's face it for the next two weeks I will pack then unpack then pack again just to unpack AGAIN. All while my husaband packs his own belongings and loads the car. I get the gift of doing all the rest. Joy!

Happy Travels you little Tornado!

XOXOXO,

Court

The Tormenting Terrible Two's!!!

I am going Bat Shit Crazy!!!

Ok I got my only curse word out right from the get go so you will have no more fowl language to read from here on out. I've really had to monitor my language abuse because my not so big talker decides the Fbomb is going to be her favorite word. Well she hasn't actually said it yet but if I don't zip my lip she's going to. And I don't need to add any horrible language to the already short list of words she says, especially when I take the list to my Prditrician. 

Does anyone else's toddler seem like a wolf wrapped in sheep's clothing?

Thank you mommy, Eskimo kiss, kiss for baby, and then a hug.

5 seconds later...

A few violent hits to the dog (she picked that up from her awesome parents), books go flying from their shelves, toy gets snatched away from baby, walls covered in chalk and then the Holy Grail of all facial expressions. The you don't scare me with the threat of spanking or taking anything away from me because let's face it mom you don't have the mental energy to deal with the explosive tantrum that will follow.

Yep that's the one. And she's right, I don't. When she knows she's in trouble she turns her backside to me and grins. Like go ahead and give me a swat it won't hurt but you will have to pay for it for the next 9 hours until dad gets home. 

Did I mention it's only 5:15 A.M.! Fudgesicle monkeys butt!! Yes that's my  new Fbomb and honestly the looks I get in public are way worse saying that than they actually would have been if I just would have said the F-word.

Currently at this moment Emersyn is my favorite. Yes I said it out loud but we all have a favorite from time to time. She sleeps in her crib and wakes only every hour but at least her foot isn't in my throat trying to kill me. She smiles non stop and as long as she can see me, the dog, or Ellie she's happy.

I know, I know it won't last. Before I know it the bat ,bad word, crazy I am today will be at whole new level when Emersyn can walk and talk and join in with her sister. 

So please go ahead and start praying for me now sister because I'm gonna need it!!!

XOXOXO, 

Court

Do you or Don't You?

There has been a question lingering in my mind since about half way through my pregnancy. Ok, well maybe sooner than that. Probably right about the time we found out we were having another girl so 12 weeks. We found out early thanks to genetic testing which is awesome the things they can test for and it be so accurate these days. Anyways, the question is:

Do you shower you second bambino or not? 

Shower meaning a baby shower. At first I thought, no. Especially if it is the same sex. But that got me thinking and asking even MORE questions like, why do it or why not do it?

Some may think that a mother who just had a baby 20 months prior would have everything that they would need. So is that the reason? If there is more time in between babies then it's okay? Question upon question. Are parents really suppose to hold onto things for years piling up their attic because that's what's expected?

Since my first born I have learned A LOT! Like never run out of wine because taking your toddler into a liquor store is never a situation that is fun but you gotta do what you gotta do. Ok, seriously though. For example, a wipes warmer would have made my child's life probably more enjoyable. Also those knee saver pads when your giving your child a bath. Ellie hated bath time and the bath tub. I then discovered this cute little cozy thing called a blooming bath that is basically a big comfy flower you put in the sink. How fun would that be? I believe as mothers each time around we learn what was beneficial and what wasn't or what we wish we had but didn't. 

In my situation if Ellie didn't like it I tossed it or sold it on one of those better than eBay site. The swing which was to big for her when she was first born and couldn't actually use it because of head control until 9 weeks. By then she was already addicted to my arms and it never got used. How was I suppose to know what kind of swing to invest in as a new mom? I had no clue. Several things I borrowed from my amazing sister in law so when finished they got returned. Her basement flooded so some of those things are no longer up for grabs. That's not my fault or anyone else's.

So that brings up the question what do people even register for with their second?

You guessed it. Everything I didn't think would be useful the first time around I actually wish I had for this time around.

My husband goes on to believe that people don't want to buy gifts all the time especially baby shower gifts. But what would the difference be if I had two kids and I invited people to their birthday parties? Am I suppose to switch years of which child gets to

Celebrate? Oh sorry Ellasyn but I can't invite your family and friends this year because its your sisters turn?

Am I reading to much into this?

That's why I am turning to you, my readers, do you or don't you shower each baby with love and gifts or is just your first born the lucky one?

CJ

Hey Ya'll!!

Hey Ya'll!

Don't you just love the word ya'll? What I love is the options my spell check has for me to replace the word that apparently isn't an actual word. Spell Check must not be from the South.

Since it has been a gazillion years since I have posted a blog I wanted to catch up my fellow reader, yes one if I even have that, what I have been up too.

My last blog was announcing that I was preggo back in March! Yowza! Well, you guessed it I am still pregnant. But I have become tantalizingly closer to my due date so the excitement has grown to, get this baby out of me right this second. They don't teach you that, in the seminar they force you to go to in high school where they talk about being pregnant, that you are pregnant for a full 9 months, which is practically 10. I always thought the 9 month marker was it but no its the end of the 9th month. Dammit! Instead of forcing information into our young minds about practicing safe sex and STD's they should give us the cold hard facts. Like, those crazy bulging veins that you 99 year old grandmother has, you will get those at 26, during pregnancy. That will scare those teen girls into never having sex again. Yes, again, because usually they are a few years too late with those lectures, especially these days.

Besides being pregnant I have been falling more and more madly in love with a brown eyed beauty. And no I don't mean my husband he has green eyes but my daughter Ellasyn. She amazes me everyday with how smart she is, its unreal. She also absorbs every single thing that I say or do. Her most recent thing is pointing and waving her finger back and forth when someone does something they shouldn't. Its hilarious and adorable and infuriating all at the same time. She has started mothers day out, a.k.a. school, or you can just say daycare. I call it mommy free day to do absolutely nothing or everything in the short 5 hours until I have to go pick her up.

Speaking of those short 5 hours I have picked up and dropped several hobbies since my last blog. Lets recap. Photography...nah. Crocheting...nope. Arbonne...sort of. Advocare...trying. Crocheting...loving it again but only simple hats. Have I missed anything? Throw in I still want to be a writer, maybe? Open my own business, but selling what I have no clue. There is no telling but I am still on the hunt for what I want to be when I grow up and I will just do everything until I figure it out!!!

This summer we took a family lake trip which was as fun as it can be when you have two families coming together for a whole week when everyone in on their own schedules. We made a weekend in St. Louis just to get away. Ventured over to see my Dad in East Tennessee. Took about a 4 hour road trip all around the mountains with my grandmother and it was the most amazing day! Those are the memories that will last a lifetime. I have decorated, undecorated, redecorated my house about 1000 times because I can never make up my mind.

So that's it! Just something short and sweet to get the ball rolling again which I will try to keep rolling this time but you never know. That's the great thing about life, is you just never know what is going to happen next!!

Oh I almost forgot! Notice the blog name change? Yeah, yeah boring and totally dreadful but for now it will have to do. I have no idea what to call this little space on the internet so for now it will be my name! Lovely, huh!

CJ

We're Pregnant!

Now when I first saw that faint, faint litte line indicating I was expecting I didn't believe it. Couldn't, believe in fact. So I downed the rest of my margarita and tried again. Yes, if that was the last drink for 8 months, I'm enjoying evey drop. I even ate the ice. Another faint half there line, am I seeing things. Pregnant or not? Will another Margaritta be okay, I mean we are at the beach? The beach, a place I will never go back to again. We conceived our first at the beach and found out we were pregnant with the second, at the beach. It's a curse. I'm never going back. No more margaritas for me.

How could this even happen? Adam and I were so looking forward to a planned pregnancy, where we could actually try to have a baby with all the activities that come with trying. We must be the two most fertile people in the World! Ok, that's a lie we werent as pre-cautious as we should have been. But when you have 10 minutes before your daughter wakes up from her 12 minute power nap pre-cautions get thrown into the wind. So here we sit with another bambino on the way.

I love being pregnant, really I do. It was amazing with Ellasyn. I don't remember being tired and I absolutely love the attention on my belly and baby. It's amazing growing a human. If I was tired I don't remember I was still working a lot so perhaps that kept my mind off of it. This time around I was tired for about 2, 3, 5, maybe 7 days. I don't know if it was tiredness or sheer fear of having another baby. We were excited, really we were, like really. This time around was different we were married which is a big bonus, we have a great house, and we live close to family. All things we didn't have last time. This time around we know what to expect and we know what not to do and do differently. So it's a fresh start to correct all our little mistakes we made with Ellie.

But another baby. WOW. A baby with a toddler. That will make them 20 months apart. I will have two kids in diapers. I'm going to need a bigger diaper bag. That is if I ever get the courage to take them both anywhere, which more than likely will not happen. Ellasyn hated the car, correction hates the car so why put myself through the stress. I'm going to become a hermit until Summer 2014. That's my release date....from prison. I'm kidding, I'm kidding that came out wrong. It will be fine, everything will work out beautifully. Sleep is overrated, I mean everyone has a sleeping disorder these days it's like the new black. So I will be fine. I keep saying it so it will sink in.

Ever since we found out we were expecting the big número dose we have been in Ellie project mode. What we were to lazy to change but now had to because we have to get ready for the next one. Getting her out of our bed, off formula, break the bottle and paci, oh and if she could sleep through the night, ride in a cart at Target, and not hate the car would be all added bonuses. The list is long but we have 9 months. And if she could be potty trained that would be awesome but don't worry I don't see that happening. So into the crib we go. First night she woke up what felt to be a gazzilion times. The second night was only like 10 and the third 7 and so on. It eventually came down to once. Then she got sick and is back in bed with us. Everything good came crashing down with one sneeze. And that's where we stand. Accomplished nothing but we will get there. And do not even suggest letting her cry it out unless you want me to use fowl language on exactly where I think you should shove your so called advice. We like sleeping with her but when society makes you feel guilty for it, you begin to actually feel guilty. When you shouldn't!!

We're wanting a boy of course. I say of course, because most people want the opposite of what they already have and for us that's a boy. And I worry if we have another girl Ellasyn and (Emmerson) will claw each others eyes out. I've heard horror stories about kids of the same sex being to close in age and quite frankly I'm terrified. I can't believe people actually try to have babies this close together. I mean I get it I really do. Just do it and get it over with so in 5 years their in school and in 18 their in college....hopefully. We also want a boy because out of Adam and his brother it would be the first. The golden child, the favorite. Yes, I said it, so sue me.

My due date is in November around Thanksgiving. All summer, fat and pregnant. Not looking forward to that but I will survive. All summer without a Strawberry Limearita in my hand out by the pool. Nothing but a good ole glass of H2O. I don't really miss alcohol that much. What I really miss is the unhealthy amount of caffeine I like to ingest. Ok, ok, I miss the alcohol too.

Today I am a wife, mother, and exhausted because I'm pregnant.

Keep Catching Those Fireflies!!

CJ

Sip N Paint

As much as I love girls nights that revolve around a bar and drinks there comes a point in your life when it's just not exciting as it once was. That point came for me when I graduated to having a ring on my finger and 15 extra pounds of left over baby weight. Guys used to hit on me, right? I think. Maybe? If they did that was somewhere 5 years ago and sure hasn't happened since. Not that you go to a bar to get hit on but it would be nice to be noticed. I mean I showered, put on make-up and let my hair out of its sock bun.

Anyways, creativity had set in and we started searching for other things to do. Bar drinking is still on the list but mixing it up a bit is nice. Of course, the other activities chosen are still ones that can be done with a glass of wine in hand. So this lead us to Painting with a Twist. I've seen classes like this getting popular on Facebook when a group of girls would display their recent artwork. Well, that sounds fun. Painting I can totally do that. I was awesome in Art Class in High School. Who am I kidding, Art class at Newark (small town in AR) was a joke. I honestly walked away from that class learning absolutely nothing but the teacher was awesome so it was a nice break from all the other mono toned bores.

On Painting with a Twist website they have a few months calendars up of different painting options to chose from and sign up for that class. This seems easy enough. Pick what I think is cute, round up some girls and let the good times roll. I did just that. The only day I could actually do, was a painting of a Chandelier. It was cute and would look adorable along side Ellie's finger painting. Mommy's art, Ellie's art. I'm 26 not 6 months so what's my excuse. Oh that's right WINE!!:)

Let me take a moment to talk about my new BNF. I will tell you what that means in a minute so try and figure it out on your own. When we started building our house we couldn't be more excited. We picked the perfect lot and we made it one where no one else on our street could build our exact model. See in a cookie cutter subdivision you choose a house plan from a book and more than likely their are about 10 other ones just like it. But they can't build the exact same house next to each other there has to be a lot in between them. So we were set. We wouldn't have to worry about our house anywhere on our street, because our lot was positioned in the middle. It was a short lived victory. Adam got the call, THE call, that our house would not fit on the lot we chose and would have to move to the right or left. Are you kidding me?! These little snakes. So we moved, ugh and picked a lot we end up hating but loving all at once. Anyways, shortly after another house starts going in next to us. So, it's our house, the empty lot we wanted, then the beginnings of another house. Adam and I, are those nosy neighbors and want to know everything so we go ask what model of house they are building one empty lot away. Basically, it's right next to each other because there is no house in between. And it's OUR HOUSE! Our exact model. I was furious, red with anger. But then I met the young couple with an adorable 2 year old girl and fell in LOVE. They were funny, smart, and Awesome. She has become my Best Neighbor Friend. Our girls play together while we patio drink, it's a perfect match.

I'm done with the little back story.

So she is one of the girls I rally into going and painting with me. Her husband and her came over for dinner, we had a glass of wine and brought two bottles with us to the studio. A white and red, you never know what you might want. When we leave and are getting on the interstate I ask her if my head lights look like they are on because they look dim. She insures me they are so we go back to chatting. When we arrive there was only our small group of 5 in the entire place which was great! We didn't have to worry about anyone else and could be as loud or obnoxious as we wanted. My best friend from AR also came over to join in on the fun. We were supposed to be at book club but I thought this would be more entertaining. Shame on us, but we hadn't read the book so we would just be sitting there.

Our teacher was Christen and so nice. Dealing with drunk women repeating everything at least 5 times has got to be exhausting. When your in there you think I can hold my drink while I do this. It can be that hard. But to our surprise it does get a little intense. You have to pay attention and follow direction. So talking doesn't happen as often as I might have liked. And you draw everything with chalk first and then paint over it. The reason you do this is because you can just wipe off the chalk if you mess up. But in the end it was a lot of fun. So much fun in fact I signed up for another a month later. Now let me just tell you I hang these pictures up in my house no matter how bad they are. I think I'm going to start painting ones at my house just because they do make it look so easy, sort of.

We finish our painting and both bottles and my neighbor and I make our 10 minute journey home. During this painting course we learned more and more about each other and one thing was that we have both recently became obsessed with some Tay Swift. The ride home was blaring her music and singing along. We turn it down to talk and discuss what we think of the songs are about, while we sit at a stop light, when the light turns green, blue lighst fill up my rearview mirror. "Laura!!! Were getting pulled over." Deep breaths, deep breaths. I was far from drunk but probably couldn't pass a breathalyzer. Laura, my BNF, is a lawyer. We pull into an empty parking lot and I roll down our windows. It was like 28 degrees outside so I'm not sure why I did this. Its not like we had just smoked a big joint or anything. We smelled fine. Laura proceeds to take off her seat belt like she was going to get out and deal with this situation. "PUT YOUR SEAT BELT BACK ON" I demand and chuckle all at the same time. I cant find my drivers license. I also can feel my heart racing throughout my whole body. OMG OMG OMG were going to jail. I can't go to jail they will eat me alive. "Ma'am, did you know your headlight was out?" I knew something was up. I explain that I didn't but I would get it fixed right away. And that was it. Shoooo. I almost peed my pants. The rest of the car ride home there was no music we just rode quietly. Needless to say the next Sip and Paint I drank only water.

 

The Chandelier in Ellie's room.

 

The Owl which is in my living room for all to see.

 

 

Today I am a wife, mother, and artist.

 

Keep Catching Those Fireflies!!

 

CJ