Wednesday @ 3:30

While I snuggle into 'my chair' an over sized leather of a thing with my mediocre coffee and smoothie, I flip the TV on to enjoy my daily dose of news. Now I only watch real news, newsworthy news, the important stuff, you know stuff, that matters...Live with Kelly and Micheal! I glance over to make sure my child hasn't consumed anything deadly and notice she is playing with a box of tampons she had discovered under the sink earlier. I inform her, "You like them now, but in about 14 years you will hate them," she smiles big and inserts one in her mouth to chew on. Wrapper and all, of course, because without the case that would be considered gross.

'If it makes you happy...then why the hell are you sooooooo sad!' A song I sing daily to my bouncing 10 month old because I rarely understand what it is she actually has to be sad about. Who needs nursery rhythms, when Alanis Morissette will work just fine. I have slowly accepted and learned that as long as it cant do any serious harm to her and shes happy then just let her be happy and play with it.

Anyways, back to Kelly and Micheal she informs the audience that at exactly 3:30 every Wednesday women are at their worst, as far as looks go. A study has been conducted on women to see when we look our worst? What a waste of scientific minds and money to study something like that. I can tell you when women look their worst, its right after she does something she regrets like a one night stand because the walk of shame don't look good on nobody. Excuse the improper English I just thought it would help get the point across. For me the time I looked the worst in my life was when I worked at a local bar. I had worked into the wee hours of the morning and crashed at a friends house. A friend that didn't have anything I could borrow to wear if you get my drift. Anyways, I managed to pull myself out of bed just in time to rush out the door and make it to my 8 a.m. class that I was not allowed to be late for again. To this day I feel sorry for the poor soul that had to sit next to me. I was still in my alcohol and smoke drenched work clothes from the night before which consisted of daringly too short shorts and a referee black and white shirt that zipped down to my naval. Luckily, I had the option where the zipper should land so it was at a more appropriate level for school. As if anything was appropriate about me that day.

So how could women in general look so bad on Wednesday? Is it because we are worn out from the work week already but not yet excited about the weekend? Or are we far enough into the week where we just stop caring about the way we look? I could google more on the subject but I'm just going to take Kelly's word for it. I mean if she said it than it has to be true.

So I've decided to conduct a little experiment. Since I just heard about this today I don't have a picture of me prepared from Monday. But I did take a picture of my daughter and I at 10 a.m. freshly dressed and with what make up I consider acceptable for a stay at home mom. I try not to set the bar to high so on the days I stay in my pajamas with yesterday's make up on my husband doesn't see much of a difference.

Not looking too bad here! Especially because of Ellasyn:)

10:00 a.m.



3:30 p.m.

WOW what a difference!! Wind blasted hair, change of wardrobe into something more relaxed and make up practically all gone. I look like shit!!

 

 

So in conclusion for ME Kelly was right I do look like crap at 3:30 on Wednesday. Now the real stickler is that I probably look like this everyday at 3:30 and not just on Wednesday.

 

Today I am a wife, mother, and need a touch up!!

 

Keep Chasing those Fireflies!!

 

CJ

Zen Master

Yoga. Ah Yoga. Ommmmmmmmm. Yoga is defined as a system of exercises practiced as part of this discipline to promote control of the body and mind. Thank you freeDictionary.com!! Well I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. How these women walk around all flexible and at peace with their inner thoughts. So last night I went to my first ever Yoga class. Well.....I LOVED IT.

Now for those of you who have taken yoga before please bare with me I am a beginner and have no idea what the poses are called or any other yoga jargon. First off i wasn't sure to keep my eyes open or shut. At least not until the teacher informed the class who had all done yoga before so she was really just telling me, that i could keep them open or shut. I chose to keep my eyes open especially when she would announce the name of the next pose. I had no idea what the cat, cow, child, baby was so my eyes remained open a lot. I'm sorry to all the yoga enthusiast if i completely made up those names but i am pretty positive she said those words sometime during the class. However, keeping my eyes open really ruined the whole Zen feel for me. How am I suppose to relax when I am watching the teacher like a hawk, to make sure that I don't make a fool of myself. I did close them from time to time especially when she told the class we were going to hold this hip stretching position for 5 minutes. WHAT 5 minutes! My arms were shaking I was fidgeting like a person who just shot up in the bathroom (which i have never done by the way). She then lets the class know how well everyone is doing, but to try not to fidget. Once again I was the awkward duck doing yoga with a bunch of swans. I wanted to look like all the other people all calm, relaxed, Serene but instead i looked like i had a corn cob stuck up my ass and my breathing was more like a pant than it was controlled.  I did love the teacher and i swear every time she spoke it was directed at me.. Which i had no problem with I needed guidance and I made it pretty obvious

My question is, how on earth do you put your legs behind your head and still take deep even breath?. I'm curled up in a ball and my fat roll is touching my chin so even breathing isn't happening, its more like gasping for air. I am trying to remain cool and calm like I know exactly what I am doing. Just breathe in and out, in and out. Controlled breathing is the key. Or at lease that is what the instructor kept saying. Then we tried different breathing techniques like inhaling while counting to 4, holding while counting to 4, exhaling to 4 and hold again to 4. I was concentrating so hard on counting that I forgot to listen to what position i was suppose to be in. So I'm in the downward dog or something like that while everyone else is doing the cat or cow, I don't know, the back arching thing. After this my eyes stayed open because i didn't want to be caught in that predicament again.

Towards the end of the 70 min class I wanted to collapse on the floor but I did feel more relaxed and definitely more flexible. For the next class I will have to work on breathing in the flexibility and breathing out the bad. I find it very difficult to calm my thoughts. Anyways the Zen lasted about 30 minutes after I got home and then Ellie proceeded to scream at every move I made. Maybe I need to teach her some moves so she can breathe in the calm and out the screaming!


Today I am a wife, mother, beginner yogi! Is yogi a word?

Keep chasing those Fireflies!!!

CJ

 

The Highly Sensitive Child

When I go to describe my daughter it starts of something like this....she's wonderful, amazing. smart, beautiful, a true blessing.....then it somehow turns into this....high maintenance, needy, fussy, hates people, doesn't sleep, spoiled, and an all around thorn in my side. I love my daughter deeply. More than I love anything more than I thought I could ever love another person but at the same time I think she's trying to kill me.

With that said, yesterday after another frantic, "I can't take this any longer" phone call to my mother she begins to explain to me about a book she read, The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron. She had explained to me once before that she believed Ellasyn had a few of the traits as a HSP. I proceeded to listen but didn't give it much attention because I just figured Ellie was "spoiled." I hate that word! But I have used it when explaining my child's "ways". She gives me some examples and then proceeds to tell me different options on how to keep control of the situation and helping Ellie with her needs without going crazy.

See, Ellasyn likes to be held, she does not like loud environments or yelling, no rough play, crowds of any sort especially with strangers, being left alone even for a second while I run to grab something in the other room, she doesn't like for us to turn our back to her when walking away, she gets frantic when we even stand up to walk away, riding in the car is pure hell, she wants us to sit on the floor beside her to play not on the couch or chair, sudden movements startle her, and she hates when things/people jump out to say surprise or just to say boo in a playful manner. Now while this all may sound normal I just didn't see how it could be. Not that Ellasyn isn't normal because she is. She's healthy and thriving at home in her own environment and with people she knows well. But I still felt some level of concern. I would observe other children in the mommy group to see their actions and reactions to things. It would take Ellasyn several minutes to warm up if she did at all. I do understand that, that is normal with many children in new situations. However, some kids would run off and play and not look back. Ellasyn would constantly check to see if I was still there and I swear she could sense if I stood up and started to walk away even if her back was to me. So all of these things I listed, as well as other I have not, lead me to want to start doing some research on children. Especially books that related to my own child specifically.

I googled the book that my mother had read and the same author had written one for Children, The Highly Sensitive Child. So I bought it. I am a firm believer that if you don't know what to do, than pick up a book. I hate when people just "wing" it. While yes you CAN do that to a certain degree, it just doesn't work well for me. I see parents who constantly put their needs before their child's and it saddens me, because I believe that you had this child now you need to give it everything that you possibly can.

Anyways, half way through the book I realized Ellasyn is a HSC in many ways but in others ways she is not. Some HSC have extreme issues while others are more mild. For example, some HSC are very particular about their clothing. They do not like tags or certain fabrics. This was something  I had never thought twice about while it was happening, but remembered, when Ellasyn was a few months younger she was constantly pulling and tugging on her clothing. All the necks of her onsies were stretched out because she would pull on them. We just thought it was because she was becoming more mobile and noticing more, which was also true. Now, however, she has been biting or tugging at her sleeves if the bottom of them has a different sewing pattern than others. But many children who are not considered HSC dislike the tags in their clothing. So that is what I keep debating how can someone possibly know whether they are or they are not.

 I'm sure if your reading this and have not read the book you are either thinking this woman's child is crazy or that all of this is completely normal with infants. But that's the thing I don't know. What's normal and what's not at such a small level?

So was her sensitivity my fault or Adams? No. Or at least I don't think so. Ellasyn knows exactly whats she wants and how she wants it and while right now she can not communicate it as well as we would like she is growing everyday and it IS becoming easier. She is brilliant and everyday she proves to us that she knows exactly what we are saying and response to things we talk about or point out to her. A friend came over to visit and saw a pair of Ellasyn's shoes and asked her if those were her sparkle shoes. Ellasyn crawled over to them and picked them up to show her. Coincidence? Probably, but little things like that happen all the time. So if she is a HSC it isn't affecting her development in anyway she is just more "sensitive" than most.

I am no doctor and I don't claim to be and in 4 months Ellasyn may have a whole new set of problems, which is likely, but for right now I am reading and finding any kind of information I can to make both of our lives easy and happy. The more I learn about what I can do in certain situations to make her feel more comfortable and perhaps not so 'timid' the better everyone will be.

I know this post to many will not mean a damn thing. But then there may be that one mother who reads it and thinks hmmmmm maybe I should read this book or that book or what can I do to improve a situation or learn more about something that has to do with my child. If not well I guess you will have to wait until tomorrow maybe then I will write something you actually want to read:)

Today I am a wife, mother, and raising a highly sensitive child...maybe.

Keep Chasing those Fireflies!!

CJ

One who promised to post daily.....but does not have one ready.

Okay so I was determined to write everyday! Every...single...day. A post about something, anything which has lead me to this post. Nothing extraordinary happened today but the two other posts I wanted to post are still sitting happily in my draft box. See in our house we go to bed at 8. Why you ask? Because we're old! There I said it. Not really I mean don't get me wrong I'm tired at 8 so going to bed is not big deal for me. We have a family bed. If you don't have kids or do and don't know what this is it means that our child sleeps with us. I will pause for you to gasp and shake your finger into the screen as you say shame shame. But we do. And I will not, let me repeat, WILL NOT apologize for it or feel bad or anything negative because we love it. It hasn't always been this way just for the second half of her life which has been about 5 months. She blissfully slept in her room until she went to spend the night with her grandparents and we became lazy. It is in fact our fault. See she needs to be rocked every time she wakes up (also our fault, she has no idea how to self soothe) which is about 25 times a night, but in bed with us we don't have to wake up or get up. When she whimpers we can place the paci back in her mouth in our sleep. It's second nature and we haven't slept better. So with that said I have nothing to blog about but at the same time I have a thousand things to blog about. My next post however will be about raising my kind of child.

So for tonight I will leave you with this thought:

"To have an exceptional child you must be willing to have an exceptional child." Elaine N. Aron

Today I am a wife, mother, and completely blank:)

Keep chasing those fireflies!

CJ

What's the point?

What's the point....of this blog? Well, I'm so glad you asked! After taking a couple of creative writing classes in college,I decided, writing was what I wanted to do. I WAS going to be a writer! And it was so. Not really. I haven't written anything since my last writing class which was several years ago. Life Happened. I remember telling my teacher I was going to be a writer and then she asked where I worked. I had no idea why this mattered but come to find out it mattered very much. I currently worked as a full time ASM at Maurice's. As soon as this left my mouth her facial expression went from excited to talk about writing to you will never get it done. She informed me that working retail is very demanding (captain obvious)and that I would never have time to write. Well she was wrong! I would have all the time in the world to write on my days off. But I didn't. At the ripe old age of 23 writing on my days off,in the summer, were at the bottom of my list. Laying out by the pool at my parents house drinking all day ranked at #1! Not to mention my muse which I wrote all of my stories about in class was over. My muse was not a person but a relationship. It's easier to write crazy stories when you're in a crazy relationship and making it funny and unbelievable was easy since when it was happening I could barely believe it myself. With that being said when the relationship came crashing down on me for about the 100th time I actually let it burn. Then I got into a good relationship and didn't have anything to write about. They say happiness makes you fat but it also can harm your writing career. Since in class i was applauded for the scandalous things these so called fictional characters did I'm pretty positive if I brought in story about how perfect everything was they would want the crazy chick back. Several years down the road and now that I'm married and have a baby the fascinating things people like to read, I no longer have. I mean, we watch shows like Honey Boo Boo because we (the American people) like watching a train wreck from the comfort of our own homes with a bag of Doritos.

So what's the point? I'm getting there I promise.

Since my muse left me and my new relationship was so great I dove into a career, of course in retail, because let me be honest I'm pretty amazing at it. I started working for a new up and coming company which meant 40 hours a week was actually 65. Needless to say my so called writing career was swept under the rug because bills had to be paid. Writers don't get paid much in the beginning, actually let me rephrase that. Writers do not get paid anything in the beginning! Not until they write a book and get it published then they will get a cut of......something. I don't know exactly how it works but the television has persuaded me that that's how it goes.

Let me fast forward because I feel as though I'm really dragging out this post. You have a booger in you nose! There that should get your attention again, if not at least you will check you nose. You know you did it, don't deny.

Okay, now I'm married and have a baby and I am a stay at home mom! Shoo that is a loaded sentence. Thats like 3 careers in 1. Now your thinking I have plenty of time to write, not working and all. Because you my friend are correct! I have all the time in the world, I mean kids don't really need much from their parents especially at 10 months. I'm going to pause to get down on the floor and literally laugh out loud for a moment. I don't have time to do anything. Except to write this boring post.

I love the South. The people kind of get on my nerves a little but I do love the country in small doses. I like that we live in a city but I can drive 10 minutes south and be in backwoods Mississippi. Which I will never do because I've seen Deliverance one to many times. So what is more Southern than a mason jar? Ummm, nothing. And what can you do with mason jars? EVERYTHING! Literally you can do everything with a mason jar. You can decorate with them, use them to organize, can in them, and well the most important thing is catch fireflies.

YAY THE POINT IS HERE! Have I lost all of you already?!

Always Chasing Fireflies idea came from my amazing mother whom I will always worship because she truly is a God send. And Chasing Fireflies was already taking so always was an addition.

Fireflies represent magical small aspects of my life. I've caught the two most important ones. My husband, Adam, and daughter Ellasyn and We live blissfully in our southern ways. So what am I still chasing after? Myself. I'm still searching for that one thing that I am meant to do. As soon as I think I know what it is and I am chasing that firefly I see another one and forget about the previous thing i wanted and start chasing after this new firefly. Then another and another and another. Because let's face it I have no idea what I am doing or going to do.

I spend my days running around always chasing after the fireflies of life.

Did that make sense at all? In my head I totally get it but that's usually the way it goes and no one else has a clue what I mean.

Oh we'll, that's it. Now what can you expect in our blogging future together fellow bloggers and readers. Everything and Anything. I plan to write daily....PLAN to write daily. I will write about how my daughter drives me crazy and my husband, well he drives me even more crazy. Also about what I'm up to because, your dying to know. Then of course which firefly I am after. This week it's Photography. I'm starting a class on Monday and can't wait! I really think its my......calling?

Today I am a wife, mother, and beginner blogger:)

Keep chasing those fireflies!


CJ

P.S.

I write like I speak and I know that may not be the best way. Im horrible with grammar and I over use words and commas are my fav!! If this makes your skin crawl well I'm sorry. Get over it and move on:)

I've been Taylor Swifted!!!

No being Taylor Swifted is not a rare STD even though you may think so since she runs through guys like I wish I could run a marathon. I've never been a fan like EVER! But this last Black Friday's shopping charade with some friends who declared we would only be listening to Tay I stopped to actually listen. It was oooookkkkkk. I mean I could only handle so much. Well then I got together with the same girls plus one for a little soirée and well you guessed it, it was being blared through the Thaoe speakers. So I listened with more of an open mind and heart. Well it happened I got "Taylor Swifted". I actually enjoyed it! I wanted to ask (beg) for a copy before I left but refrained and stood my ground as an anti Swift fan. I mean she kinda gets around, no? Or she gets through boyfriends so quickly because she is the exact opposite. My husband brought this to my attention as we had one of our meaningful, deep conversation.....is Tayswift a slut or tease? We like our little nickname for her don't you? Anyways, I bought her whole Album Red on iTunes and haven't stop listening to it since day before yesterday. Every song speaks to ME, directly, I mean she wrote those songs for me:) Okay Okay not for me but it is fun trying to match up which ex BF she wrote them for. So lets check out the playlist from Fab to Drab:

Lets start with the obvious RED. Name of album as well as a song. Ok driving him was fun like a fast car losing him was not but loving him was a color. I don't think I would ever say, 'hey baby I love you so pink right now you have no idea!' Or I hate you so black. When did emotions become color in a language not on a canvas?

One of my favorites thanks to Shari, Becca, and Amy!!! I so want to be 22 again! Hell I don't have to be 22 to completely jam out to this song. The hubster even said it had a good beat! So let's bebop down the street again soon to this song:)

I Almost Do is next. I'm assuming about an eX factor which is every guy she dated. But the song is very true speaking and I enjoy it. It's a hard journey getting over an ex and I get that. So she is relatable in that aspect.

We are Never Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever Ever going to get this stupid song out of our heads!!! Ugh I hate it!

The Last Time is my FAVORITE! I'm a huge fan of Snow Patrol and his voice makes me happy. It is a very good song. If you hate Taylor Swift and hate this post just go listen to this song and you will fall for it. I can promise you that! I breaks my heart to listen to it because some of us will never hear those words in a relationship that went sour. "This is the last time you tell me I got it wrong, this is the last time I say its been you all along, this is the last time I let you in my door, this is the last time I won't hurt you anymore." Imagine them both singing together it will touch you.

Holy Ground, Sad Beautiful Tragic, The Lucky One, Everything has changed is also enjoyable.

I mean if you listen to all her songs not in the radio you may actually believe she has talent!

So basically every song is good except We are Never whatever.

I have come to the conclusion I like this Taylor Swift but the radio does ruin her songs. You get so tired of hearing them that you don't even want to buy her cd or even try to listen to her other music. But try it. At least some of the songs.

Today I am a mother, wife, and Taylor Swift.......(gulp) Fan:)

Keep chasing those Fireflies!

CJ

National Pie Day!!!

As a stay at home mom my days usually consist of playing, napping, eating, and Pinterest. With that said what did we do before Pinterest? I honestly can't remember. But now everyone is in touch with their creative side and our houses are full of DIY. When shopping with my mother she is constantly saying, "I could make that!". I blame Pinterest. For convincing all of these housewives/ people of the world that we can and WILL make all of the products we once bought in a store. Not only does it make a normal non creative person like myself feel as though I can completely decorate my house with crafting products bought at our local Hobby Lobby, but also that I can throw any kind of party with a few helpful hints from other party throwers. Which brings me to my blog topic of the day! It's National Pie Day which just so happens to be the theme of my daughters birthday. Well, not the actually theme, hers will be a "Cutie Pie" theme with lots of pies to devour. A coincidence that I find out about a whole day dedicated to pie? I think not, more like a sign from the Gods. Before I came to the conclusion that a southern charming pie party would be the theme to bring in the joyous occasion of my daughters 1st birthday I debated over several different ones.

First, was Ellasyn in ONEderland. But, if you have a one year old you know that they have no idea how to have an actual Tea party. So this was out of the question and to make it look cute the decorations are pretty extensive. I mean Pinterest can make you feel like you can do anything, but in reality you need about 30 hours in one day to actually do it.

Second, was a Preppy Nautical theme. Which I went as far as getting a shirt made for her, just for the occasion, because I was positive this theme was 'The One'. It lasted about a week. Then I realized, we don't live near any kind of natural water source so what food do you serve at a Nautical party....fish sticks? No thank you! I plan on never letting Ellasyn try the delicious taste of fake fish, deep fried.

Third through about Thirteen I came up with many more ideas that just didn't feel right.

Then I finally landed on Pie!! I love pie. Who doesn't and since I have heard horror stories about parents giving their child their first taste of sugar on their birthday with a huge sugary cake, led them to a stomach ache. I refuse to do that to Ellie, she is already complicated enough. Now I know pie has sugar in it too, but if I make them homemade I can control the level of sugar I add. Key word control....I am a control freak, especially when it comes to my daughter.

So back to pie! In honor of National Pie Day we are making Pie Pops!! Which will also take main stage at her party with yumminess! We are going to try chocolate for daddy and I and then plum and blackberry for Ellasyn. Did you know you can just use jelly to make these pie pops? Well you can! And with the pip pop maker (yes it does exist) that my friend ordered for me it comes with a cookbook that explains how to make grilled cheese pops and ravioli pops!! I will pause as you absorb this awesome bit of info I shared with you.........................EXCITING, I KNOW!! Now I must go share this same level of excitement I shared with you today with my husband because you know he's dying to hear all about it:)

Today in my world I am a wife, mother, and BAKER!!

Keep chasing those Fireflies!!!

CJ